Cameron
my son came in
from college last night
to show me his new ride:
2001 Monte Carlo
black
leather interior
& pure sex
I greet him in the clothes
I wore to work that day:
ragged ripped jeans
& flannel shirt
he is going up
in the world
studying law and history
straight A’s
finally got laid
& no longer a virgin
I’ve always treated
my son as a man
never lied to him about life
never treated him badly
& we are comfortable
talking about everything
seeing him sitting there
did my heart proud
to know he’s not
making a bad decision
in not going to college like I did
its nice when you
can relate to the
younger generation
at the end of your life
& even better when
he is your flesh & blood
& likes you as a man
& loves you
as much as you do him
first snow
all day we watched it
through the windows
at work
wondering what 3:30pm
quitting time
had in store for us
I only wanted a beer
after having had a bitch day
hassling stupid people
the nice thing about
manual transmission
is you can drop it into
second gear & creep through
icy conditions & still
keep the revs up
without spinning the wheels
the people around me
were applying makeup
fumbling with cell phones
& acting like asses
like this was the first time
they saw snow
I kept my eyes on the road
thinking of that first beer
what to eat
& what emails
were waiting for me
snow is okay if you have Husky’s
or a plow
but nothing beats Springtime
or crisp Fall evenings
let it snow
my mind blocks it out
as I slide sideways
in the parking lot
to a perfect stop
with my heart in my mouth
big brother
so I stop at Speedway
for cigs & beer
& the ditzi cashier
says “I need to see
your drivers license”
I say “I’m 56
give me a break”
she says sorry
swipes my license
through the computer
& startled I say “what the fuck
now you have my
social security number
& I don’t give that to anyone”
she says “Big Brother is watching you”
with a uneasy laugh
well I say “ this is the last time
I buy beer here bitch”
now it has come to that
in this paranoid
country we live in
checking on hard working
people & their
drinking & smoking habits
while the government
allows crack & cocaine
to enter to skim profits off it
& keep their friends happy
in S. America
next time you have
your drivers license renewed
ask them to leave off
the social security number
so those pukes in the White House
can’t track you like cattle or sheep
or pigs going to slaughter
for the fucking Amerikan Way
I love my country
but not my government
tongue in cheek
I love to cheat on my
wife & girlfriend
it’s so cool coming home
late Sunday mornings
my face smeared
with pussy juice
after catting around all night
with a loose bitch
it makes me feel like
such a big man
I used to worry
about this all the time
but now the notches
on my gun curl around
the handle like expensive
scrimshaw or a carved bed post
and neither ones knows
how unhappy I am
with both of them
it’s just a conquest
use ‘em and discard ‘em
I never take either
out in public
because I don’t want
the steady sex to end
if they by chance
see me with the other one
women are as dumb
as post hole diggers
just shove it in the hole
and satisfy yourself
anything more than 30 min.
& you run the risk
of falling in love
& that’s highly overrated
after all
I’m so fucking handsome
women fall at my feet
begging to be next in line
the only problem
is remembering to call out
the proper name
at the appropriate time
& always acting like
they are the only ones
in your busy life
I encourage all men
to do this whenever they can
just don’t get caught
in a lie you can’t find
another lie to cover
it up with
voyagers
she emails me
before heading down
to Florida from New Jersey
with her sister for a brief visit
with the family
how strange it seems to me
to be so closely tied
to a woman
I only know from
written words & phone calls
it’s a path I want to continue
to explore with her
because we see eye to eye
on many things
that matter to us
by nature I’m not a trusting person
never letting go fully
but with her I can be myself
& speak my mind
maybe it’s the miles between us
those endless stretches
of concrete & hills
that makes this work
but I’m not complaining
because soon
we will be face to face
& that voice on the ‘phone
& her words on paper
will be inside me as we
awaken in the morning
& find out who we really are
sometimes dreams
turn into nightmares
while other times
they are just what
is needed when reality
is flesh & bones & mind
next to you smiling
voting & death
today is voting day
& one party offered
to take the voters
to the poles
in a limo
provided by a local
funeral parlor
of course they offered
this deal to all
the senior citizens
in the town
sort of like a preview
of things to come
if we go to war
with Iraq
or even their own
short expensive ride
at the end of their
voting life
one referendum in Calif.
is to ban the use of
non-politically correct
coffee beans
in city coffeehouses
another is to okay
the growing of
medicinal weed
for personal use
I won’t vote today
& I hate wakes
because the smell
of flowers sickens me
no matter how honest
you are when elected
it only takes a little while
before the flowers stink
after the parade is over
& corruption sets in
